I am not creative on a schedule. My genius comes to me spontaneously, usually at work. So at work I type up little notes to myself. Not so genius* when I get home and look at a crumpled up Post-it and wonder, WTF IS THIS? Notes I've brought home recently and looked at with my head cocked to the right and my mouth going say whaaa?
"E-mail makes me feel bad for Americans": Well this is fairly easy. I get so many ridiculous emails in my super old Yahoo account that I check once a month for fun...emails like "Available Jobs in Medicine With No Degree!" "Free $400 Gift Card to Red Lobster!" and "Mystery Shoppers Earn $60,000 Per Month!" Now I just feel bad for the people who read that and honestly believe it. As in, 'wow, sweetie, all our troubles are over- if I just fill out this survey about my views on internet advertising, I really will get this check for $25,000 mailed to me at our new ski lodge in Aspen!' That's all. Anyone else ever feel that way? As in, I pity the foo' who reads that and think it's real?
"Inside of Dishwasher": I've always wondered what it's like to be inside of a dishwasher when it runs. Although I think if I knew it would ruin my life and I've never think my dishes were clean again.
"Capitalist": I was driving behind a shiny BMW M3 whose license plate was CAPTLST. That's like somebody, let's call him...hmm...Bark Fammershold....with a license plate reading DOUCHBAG. Obviouuuuus.
"Pechanga": Now this was more difficult to decipher. Then I remembered how everytime I hear ads on the radio for Pechanga casino, I immediately think of what a 3-year-old might call their girl parts. Think about it. VV, vaginey, gina, giner, Pechanga...is it that hard to connect the dots?
My apologies for this lame entry. I've been drinking on a wine tasting since 11:30 am and then binged on Mexican food, which made me feel more drunk, plus then the illegitimate Mexican children inside my tum are now trying to claw their way out...I just drank some Sprite and then burped and it came up and splashed all over my keyboard. This would be hilarious if it wasn't so embarassing.
*I was babysitting last night and to pass the time I asked Sydney to explain to me the plot of all the popular Disney movies. She told me how in Aladdin, he wanted to become a prince and a 'genius' granted him 3 wishes...she is so cute. She calls me Ayison and says the most hilarious things in the most grown-up way, like "I'm having a sort of nightmare, Ayison. Do you think maybe you could help me feel better, Ayison?" then she jumps up for a hug. I love babysitting for her, because her mom is pregnant and their freezer is filled with Ben and Jerry's and Reese's Klondike bars. YUMNUMNUMNUM
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