Tuesday, June 9, 2009

This Will Make Me Rich

I have a new idea for an invention. And if men just had OPEN MINDS, I'd really be rolling in dough by now. Dough moistened with semen. Read on.

What do men love more than sex? Smelling great and feeling shower fresh afterwards without having to stand up, be active and ruin their post-orgasmic glow, that's what. Showering is sooo Beginning of Time-May 2009. I propose...THE CLEANER WEINER!

The Cleaner Weiner is a soothing, cleansing wet wipe for post-sex penis cleansing. It is discreetly packaged in multiple forms, from a simple tissue box to a remote that flips open to a hollow Bible- the options are endless. It looks like a basic Lysol wipe but is formulated to be extremely sensitive to the delicate penal skin while still cleansing, removing all fluids and leaving a fresh, manly, yet barely noticeable scent. And if anyone else wonders what that great smell is, you can smile confidently, plead ignorance and just know, "that's my wang." Can't you see that thought bubble in an infomercial now?!

Logical, intelligent, possessing-of-man-brain boyfriend says I'd more easily make millions begging on the street and using my tap dance skills to panhandle than marketing the Cleaner Weiner. I say...Billy Mays, I'm waiting for YOU!

1 comment:

  1. indefenseofgettingoffSeptember 7, 2009 at 11:38 PM

    I think this has already been invented: http://www.cumkleen.com/

    Although, I like your name better (copyright it now!), and I agree that unscentedness is imperative. I like vanilla and penis, but not vanilla-scented penis. Perhaps they need to market a "faint musk" scent. Or even a "sea breeze" for those men who are comfortable enough with their sexuality to bask in coconutty glow (shimmery optional).

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