I Went to Yale and All I Got Was This Fake License Plate Holder

I didn't go to Yale. But someone from my apartment complex "did." Why the quotes? Because I don't buy it. There's a license plate on an electric blue coupe that says "Yale Graduate" in...wait for it...Papyrus. Now anyone who knows me knows that I'm a font nazi...some might say a fontzi? (Enter visions of The Fonz dressed like the gestapo). Everyone knows I have a vendetta against Comic Sans and wont rest until it's wiped from every computer database/pre-school inspirational wall hanging. It's ugly, incomplete looking, unprofessional, boogery and makes me think of diapers. You know the word association game, where you shout the first word you think of when you hear another word? Examples:
Green GRASS
Red BLOOD
Comic Sans DIAPERS
And does anyone enjoy thinking of diapers? Minus my pedophile readers (I'm just glad to have an audience!). Hence just one reason why I hate Comic Sans.
Anyway, if you had to guess my second-most-hated font, it'd be Papyrus. I used to love Papyrus. It added grown-up flair to the cover pages of the saucy novellas I wrote in sixth grade and made social studies projects look more real (who DIDN'T use it for their project on the Declaration of Independence/slavery/The New Deal/communism??). But use it to advertise an Ivy League institution on a license plate, and all I can think of is back in 2003ish when it was all the rage to wear fake college insignia clothes. Remember that? You'd go to a Forever 21-esque place and throw down 30 bucks for a pair of skin-tight sweat pants with HARVARD in rhinestones on the hip. I wonder how all these stores got away with using the Harvard name, come to think of it.
IN CONCLUSION (rolls out parchment document which very likely is typed in Papyrus to look authentic):
1) I like to think of Yale graduates in taupe Camrys as young adults and silver BMWs as fully-grown adults. Not electric blue Mustangs.
2) A college name can only be written in Comic Sans if it's on a bib, saying something like "A Yale Graduate Loves Me" with fake food fingerpainted on it to look cute. Even so, you're really putting that baby at risk if I get near it.
3) Papyrus is to be avoided at all costs. Unless, of course, you're writing a book report on a book you didn't read and trying to look legit and casual like oh haay I finished Go Ask Alice so early I had time to make a snazzy cover page heh heh...heh?