Bristol Can Ambassador Me!

Now this may seem odd, but I think Bristol Palin being a spokesperson for abstinence is somewhat brilliant. Or at least the best we can do right now.

Growing up, she was told to wait. But she wanted to have sex. So do most teens with raging hormones, the desire to fit in and some time on their hands on a Thursday afternoon. I have a really, really hard time believing that teens don’t know what they’re getting themselves into when they have sex. Yes, they think they’re invincible and that it wont happen to them. But they also know sex makes babies. And herpes. And the list goes on. Someone who didn’t listen to what she was told and now has a baby has proved that no one is invincible.

I like the idea of getting advice from someone who’s clearly been around the block in life. She faced temptation, had a choice and made the one she now claims is wrong. Now just to clarify, despite my extremely pro-comprehensive sexual education stance, I am also very supportive of teen abstinence. It’s the only 100% way to avoid pregnancy. And I want a world with no unintended pregnancies. I mean for me growing up, sex was huge. This is partly because we're brainwashed to think this- thanks, WB/CW programming (I blame it all on Dawson’s Creek)- to view it as some milestone or benchmark in life. But having sex before they can handle the emotions that ride tandem can make girls feel really, really terrible, and makes the pressures of teen life even more pronounced. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn’t have lived my life differently at all, but when I read reports these days, I just want to get a megaphone over the 13-year-old female population and bellow, “What’s the rush?!”

Back to the topic at hand. Hearing “just say no!” from a cheerful, purity ring-wearing, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (and most likely bushy-bushed, if we’re going there. Ohhp, we went there.) girl standing outside of a church means little to me. I feel a self-righteous burst of “Well, what does she know?!” rise up in me. In many cases, the most trusted advice comes from someone who has walked the walk; in this case, Bristol clearly hasn’t and she faced the consequences. Of course she adores her little sprout of future Monied Trashiness- that’s only natural, and shouldn’t be seen as a question of her commitment to the cause or a mixed message, I.E. “But she’s so happy with her son, it worked out for her, how can she now turn around and support abstinence?” She admits that it’s constantly hard work and that she’s lucky in life to have supportive parents and their supportive money for diapers, medicine, etc.

Rachel’s boyfriend teaches sixth grade in Brooklyn and recently found a note being passed between a male and female student. For sixth graders, and really anyone, it was explicit. The boy had asked her if she wanted him to get her pregnant, as if it were sexy or romantic. Her response was a coy “not yet.” But I doubt she meant that as, “Oh, when we’ve been married for a couple years, both have degrees, financial security and the emotional maturity to handle raising a child.” Just not when she’s in sixth grade. In the area where he teaches, teen pregnancy rates are above average. Perhaps for someone like her, the best spokesperson for abstinence isn’t a rich white girl from a well-connected family who easily landed on her feet. What about the real teen moms, who have to drop out of school or can barely afford diapers? Whose parents disown them, whose boyfriends want nothing to do with them once the ‘romance’ of it all dies down, whose friendships start fading fast? The teen moms who want so desperately to keep their baby while also remaining a normal teenager who goes out with friends and dates.

Yes, the ideal spokesperson for abstinence is a young woman who had sex and lost it all- her friends, her boyfriend, her youth, her opportunities- and regrets it. It has to be someone who didn’t practice what they now preach. But until she comes forward, Bristol Palin is fine by me.