I think I can say I have a relatively easy life. Someone cooks for me, a lovely man has asked for my hand and I have accepted, I am in a very interesting graduate program that is perfect for reaching my lofty future goals, and yesterday I nabbed a new comforter set at Home Goods for $50. No complaints. Except sometimes, sometimes, I get really close to throwing in the towel because Netflix continues to fuck.me.over.
A scratched-to-oblivion, unplayable disc WILL send me into a rage unlike any other. I mean if I can't watch this disc today my whole plan of watching this one today and mailing it and getting the next one in two days is vanquished and I'll never, NEVER get to figure out if Lucas really shot Dan Scott before that literature summary is due. So yesterday, after pouting, whimpering, stomping, the occasional scream of frustration, followed by Windexing the DVD as instructed, and it STILL didn't work, I finally sat down to figure out why this keeps happening to me. And, my 4 friends, I've got it:
There is someone in this world with the exact same taste in Netflix rentals as me ("Romantic Comedies with a Strong Female Lead," "Gay and Lesbian," "Dramas on the CW," etc.). Yet other than that, we are very different. See, for fun, she straps her pet hamster onto a DVD and lets the little guy go sledding down a hill made of Brillo pads. That is THE only way the disc can get so messed up without someone actually taking a pair of tweezers and viciously scratching away with the gleam of hell in their eyes. So while fake Allie is gearing up for the finals of league Hamster Racing, I'm in my den throwing a nursery school-esque temper tantrum because Ineedtoseethisnowwwwworeeelse!!
I think I want to launch a full-scale investigation. I mean I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard for Netflix to track down the person who had my DVD before me. I can just see it now, cops bursting through the door of someone else's parents' house in Westchester, handcuffing both her and her hamster (commence "aww") and taking her downtowwwwn. Justice, consider yourself served.
[So okay I know I have at least 4 readers, someone out there is watching me post my innermost thoughts and demons and whatever, but this constant stream of 0 comments is really starting to hurt my self esteem. Almost as much as being barked at on Wednesday. Barked at. And now that I've officially brought that up 89,037 times, I think I can retire my hurt feelings ('Hurt feelings, I got hurt feeeeeeelings'). ]
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I commented on your last post (twice) before I even read this complaint, for the record.
ReplyDeleteI suggest you alter your Netflix genre preferences, because I get a lot of HBO shows full of crime and drugs and sex and they are always as clean and unscratched as can be. The ONLY time I had a problem was a disc of "How I Met Your Mother" so clearly my one PG choice was the biggest risk. And I did also FLIP OUT. I was soooo mad. But since I don't have a fiance to call up and cry I just took it out on some random dude in the elevator.
That never happended to me. Probably because the other people who rent Beerfest dont exist.
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