Nubby Bubbys

Apparently I'm not really Jewish because I pronounce Bubby like "boeh-bee" like the first syllable of booger as opposed to "Buh-bee."

I love New York because yesterday, when I was walking to the subway, a youngish minority feller sitting on a stoop in the Bronx said to his friend, "If I paid you $20, would you kill that lady?" Ok first off, it was 3:45pm and they didn't look armed. I WAS the only lady in the vicinity, but rather than be afraid my first thought was "Why don't they like me?" I'm so, so sad. But who just asks that in pleasant conversation?

I also love New York because there is a cart that makes fresh-to-order waffles right outside an entrance to Columbia. If orgasms had a smell- and it was something different from eau d'sex- it would be the Columbia waffle cart.

At the park today with Henry, I was thrilled to see a 30-something dad begrudingly follow his little girl onto the playground. It was empty besides us, so I welcomed the opportunity to shoot the shit with hot daddio, talk about property taxes, immigrants stealing jobs, why we ever wanted our lives to end up like this, ya know suburban grownup talk. Rather, he stood silently next to me, and it was up to me to fill the silence. Sample sentences:

"Henry, how do you know Katherine?" Note: they are 2. I don't think I was expecting, "Oh, we go way back, and every now and then we love to just take some time out and catch up over mocha fraps and scones." Although omg with Henry's voice that would be such a YouTube hit...

"Uhh...sooo...does Katherine go to nursery school yet?" This actually got Dad to answer. He mentioned that since his wife is due in two weeks, they've decided to, and I quote, "Take Katherine out this semester." Let me reiterate. This semester of NURSERY SCHOOL. It took every fiber of my being not to crack up and then fart in his face. I mean do they understand the repercussions of this decision? She'll TOTALLY fall behind in her alphabet and fake cooking. I mean, I guess they're just looking out for her best interests- with that baby wailing through the night she'd be in no shape to wake up, slog through counting to 10 and barely share her child-size spatula with Sage. Best to just keep her self-esteem high. But HOW will this affect the dropout rates at her nursey school? Will it fall in the Princeton Review rankings? (I shouldn't joke about this, in NYC preschools are ranked and such, but this is Tarrytown, and our preschools have no maximum enrollment and take even severely retarted kids for the bargain price of $20 a day. What, not politically correct?)

ANYway, happy almost Friday. I'll be hunkering down to write my first grad school paper, which I'm making mountaining-from-molehill so hard right now. It's a 3-page max, BULLET BY BULLET critique paper (as in, no transitions necessary. There is a God). But obviously the trajectory will clearly go, write one paragraph, watch episode of One Tree Hill, write one more, blog about nothing/life being too hard, write second to last paragraph, go on People.com to analyze why Khloe Kardashian is REALLY getting married, then conclude whilst eating leftover zucchini casserole and feeling bad about eating too much casserole so bingeing on apple cider bread.