Alternate title: I've Eaten a Lot of Feta Today
I've never thought of myself as "uncomfortable in my own skin." In fact, that statement always gave me the icks (it made me see skin as a wool sweater, sort of loose on bones, and come on that's just grimy). But these past few days I feel like I could write a novel. So now, I present:
How to be Awkward in Grad School:
1) Somehow not know anyone although everyone else is bff (come on this is grad school, not Brownies!), and have to eat lunch alone. I may have reached the wizened age of 23, but "eating lunch alone" is still tops on my "fate worse than death" list (Second place: being a flight attendant. Third place: Ever meeting the girl who got my donated computer with my diary/amateur erotica novellas on the hard drive.). I sort of wandered through the street fair o'deliciousness pretending to thoroughly examine gypsy scarves, meanwhile pondering the loneliness of my grad school experience comma Day 1.
2) Perhaps a continuation of #1, but be so obviously BY YOURSELF that the goobery dweebo student senate president (WHO runs for student government in grad school, WHO? Does that look good for your application for...Secretary of State? Running the moon? I mean seriously) in his swanky black suit comes over to say hi and keep you company. If Columbia Teachers College was a working beehive of nerdy drones he'd be the queen bee in male-bee form. God, analogies aren't my strong suit. How sad must I have looked to attract the sympathies of the Nerd King? It's not like he even talked to me about his campaign platform to win over my support. He just...asked me how my day was going and about my life. Because I was aaaal awooone. I refuse to believe the premise of "some people are just nice" so yeah, it's more a reflection of my loserdome ok thanks life I'll get back to you on that one.
3) At your academic program orientation roundtable, watch as your peers introduce themselves confidently and discuss their current work (I've been a health teacher for 10 years!) and research interests (I want to design curricula to use in African refuge camps!) then when it gets to you, gulp, blush and basically stutter, "I'm Elle Woods, and this is Bruiser Woods, and we're both Gemini vegetarians..." No, more like "Hi, I'm from Westchester (rolls eyes at inside joke with no one because no one's from Westchester and 'gets it'), and I'm getting a master of...arts? And I want to like...eventually work in sexuality education?" But then CRACK UP AT YOURSELF because you can't stop comparing your introduction to Elle Woods's and sit with your shoulders shaking, giggling, while the professor tries to talk about the thesis project.
Life is better because I can make fun of myself. But still. Really?
I've never thought of myself as "uncomfortable in my own skin." In fact, that statement always gave me the icks (it made me see skin as a wool sweater, sort of loose on bones, and come on that's just grimy). But these past few days I feel like I could write a novel. So now, I present:
How to be Awkward in Grad School:
1) Somehow not know anyone although everyone else is bff (come on this is grad school, not Brownies!), and have to eat lunch alone. I may have reached the wizened age of 23, but "eating lunch alone" is still tops on my "fate worse than death" list (Second place: being a flight attendant. Third place: Ever meeting the girl who got my donated computer with my diary/amateur erotica novellas on the hard drive.). I sort of wandered through the street fair o'deliciousness pretending to thoroughly examine gypsy scarves, meanwhile pondering the loneliness of my grad school experience comma Day 1.
2) Perhaps a continuation of #1, but be so obviously BY YOURSELF that the goobery dweebo student senate president (WHO runs for student government in grad school, WHO? Does that look good for your application for...Secretary of State? Running the moon? I mean seriously) in his swanky black suit comes over to say hi and keep you company. If Columbia Teachers College was a working beehive of nerdy drones he'd be the queen bee in male-bee form. God, analogies aren't my strong suit. How sad must I have looked to attract the sympathies of the Nerd King? It's not like he even talked to me about his campaign platform to win over my support. He just...asked me how my day was going and about my life. Because I was aaaal awooone. I refuse to believe the premise of "some people are just nice" so yeah, it's more a reflection of my loserdome ok thanks life I'll get back to you on that one.
3) At your academic program orientation roundtable, watch as your peers introduce themselves confidently and discuss their current work (I've been a health teacher for 10 years!) and research interests (I want to design curricula to use in African refuge camps!) then when it gets to you, gulp, blush and basically stutter, "I'm Elle Woods, and this is Bruiser Woods, and we're both Gemini vegetarians..." No, more like "Hi, I'm from Westchester (rolls eyes at inside joke with no one because no one's from Westchester and 'gets it'), and I'm getting a master of...arts? And I want to like...eventually work in sexuality education?" But then CRACK UP AT YOURSELF because you can't stop comparing your introduction to Elle Woods's and sit with your shoulders shaking, giggling, while the professor tries to talk about the thesis project.
Life is better because I can make fun of myself. But still. Really?
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